


A Lyrical Battle

by ladyroxanne21



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Harry and Draco fighting, It's supposed to be cracky, M/M, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Song Lyrics, but i think i failed, sigh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 21:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17947244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyroxanne21/pseuds/ladyroxanne21
Summary: Peeves helps a surprising pair team up to 'curse' Harry and Draco so that they have no choice but to have a lyrical battle.





	A Lyrical Battle

 

 

Ron was surprised to hear his name hissed at him urgently as he passed a dark alcove on his way to dinner. In his single-minded determination to get to the Gryffindor table as soon as possible, he nearly ignored the urgent beckoning, but sheer curiosity stopped him in his tracks.

“Zabini???”

“First of all,” Blaise stated as he pulled Ron into the privacy of the alcove with him. “I'm not asking you to betray a trust, so just listen to what I have to say. If I'm right, there's a certain someone who's been a brooding and moody bastard all of Eighth Year. Someone who's thoroughly annoyed us all because he SHOULD be a smug and triumphant bastard, but he's not.”

“What are you getting at?” Ron asked suspiciously.

Blaise shrugged. “Just that your broody bastard and my favorite arsehole have BOTH been driving everyone mad this year, and I think I have an idea to help them both feel better.”

Still extremely suspicious, Ron tilted his head to the side and peered at Blaise. “Yeah? What's that?”

Blaise chuckled a little malevolently. “You and I both know that they love to hate each other, but they've been trying to leave each other alone this year. I think if they could just have a nice little battle, they'd feel so much better.”

Ron couldn't help but smirk in amusement. “Are you saying you want our best mates to beat each other up?”

Blaise laughed. “As amusing as that would be to watch, no. That would get them both in trouble, and my favorite arsehole doesn't need anymore trouble, ta ever so.”

Ron was definitely intrigued at this point. “So what DO you have in mind?”

Blaise pulled a vial of potion out of his pocket and held it up for Ron to see. “This is completely harmless. I wouldn't give it to Draco if it weren't. I'll take an unbreakable vow that it's harmless if you don't believe me – but as I said, no one needs trouble this year.”

Ron gave him a long and appraising look, and then nodded his head slightly. “So if it's harmless, what's it do?”

“It's a bit like a catalyst that will trigger a 'curse' so that once we slip this in their drinks and they drink it, they will be 'cursed' to speak in lyrics – HONEST lyrics – until they get everything out in the open and feel better.”

“Wait, you want me to make Harry *sing* what's on his mind?” Ron asked incredulously, deciding that Blaise had definitely lost the plot.

Blaise sighed as if trying to gather up and maintain the patience of a saint. “Look Weasley, it's harmless. It'll only last until they feel better. Don't you want your best friend to feel better?”

Ron gave this a lot of thought, and as much as the thought of singing his own feelings made him sick, he could sort of see how Blaise had a point. Harry HAD been a moody and downright prickly arsehole lately. If this had a chance of succeeding, it might actually be worth it. He looked to the ceiling for guidance, and then sighed.

“Alright. I'll take the vial and try to slip it in Harry's drink, but I make no promises!”

“Excellent!” Blaise crowed in triumph as he handed the vial over.

“Not so fast, sneaky young sirs!” A voice that neither of them relished hearing at that exact moment said.

They looked over to find Peeves lurking at the very back of the alcove. Exchanging a concerned look, both wondered if it would be worth the waste of breath to try to convince him to go away and mind his own business. Both ALSO wondered if they could cast a spell on him to scare him off – or at least hex his mouth shut.

“If you are planning to be naughty, Peeves wants in on it!”

Blaise bit his lip to stop from grinning, while Ron looked a bit faint.

“This certainly complicates things,” Ron groaned.

“Not so!” Peeves assured them, looking a little affronted. “Red weasel's venerated brothers told Peeves to give 'em hell for them, so that's what Peeves wants. I'll help you by distracting everyone long enough for you to slip the potion in their drinks – then the WHOLE HALL will be on hand for this naughty prank!” He cried out in glee.

“Harry's going to murder me!” Ron wailed softly, tempted to tug on his hair. Prior to now, he had been hoping they could lure their idiots to a private corridor or classroom. But now he saw that he was basically trapped in this course of action, that PEEVES would make his life a living hell if he chickened out now.

Blaise pounded on his back in unrestrained glee. “Draco's going to use my guts for garters and possibly feed me my own prick, but if it brings the light back to his eyes, I'm not going to complain.” Then he chuckled nervously and added. “Think you could hide me if I'm in too much danger?”

Ron chuckled. “Only if you hide me! We'll have to go into hiding together. My money's on Hogsmeade as I'm dead certain Harry would be able to find me no matter where I go in the castle – he's uncanny that way.”

With a grin, Blaise held out his hand. “Alright, if this goes all pear-shaped, meet me in the Three Broomsticks.”

“Deal!”

Meanwhile, Peeves was rolling around near the ceiling in manic anticipation, rehearsing a bit of a ditty to sing during the distraction.

Deciding to go their separate ways before someone came along and caught them acting shady together, both boys rushed off in different directions that eventually led to the Great Hall. To his dismay, Ron was only a minute or so later than Harry and Hermione, who were just sitting down when he entered the Hall. He'd planned to be at least 20 minutes earlier than them so that he could be mostly full when they started on their homework chatter, which would help him feel nice and lethargic and not pay any attention to them in the slightest.

With a disgruntled sigh, Ron rushed to their sides.

“What took you so long?” Hermione asked in concern.

“Bathroom,” Ron grumbled with a shrug.

“Ah,” Hermione murmured in understanding.

They all got busy eating and Ron ACTUALLY managed to forget his illicit pact until Peeves decided that everyone had eaten enough and started howling near the enchanted ceiling – which was in the process of displaying a gorgeous sunset.

“Listen one and all, tonight I have a special treat for you! A one of a kind fight – a LYRICAL battle!” He cried out in a singsong voice as he rolled and swayed through the air. “For this battle, two unlucky students have been cursed to sing nothing but the truth and will have to fight it out in song. So sit back, me hearties, and enjoy my treat. I promise you a musical delight!”

“Peeves!” McGonagall cried out sternly, but he stuck his tongue out at her and blew a raspberry before flying out of the Hall – just far enough that she likely wouldn't chase him.

Suddenly, Draco Malfoy stood up, looking rather confused, but unable to stop himself from standing on the Slytherin table. A moment later, Harry Potter did the same, standing on the Gryffindor table and looking extremely baffled.

“Sorry Professor, I can't seem to stop myself!” Harry called out before the 'curse' took full effect.

Looking rather horrified to suddenly be the center of attention, Draco took a deep breath and tried to step down, but he couldn't. Without warning, his mouth opened and his rather posh and smooth voice burst forth.

“I thought that I've been hurt before, but no one's ever left me quite this sore, your words cut deeper than a knife, now I need someone to breathe me back to life.”

The moment he was done, Harry felt his own mouth open as if responding to a taunt. The fact that he sounded rather good was a complete surprise, even to him! “You left a stain on every one of my good days, but I'm stronger than you know – Oh I really should have known by the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbyes, the expression on your face, told me, maybe you might have some advice to give on how to be insensitive.”

Still very confused, Draco found himself singing again. “It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy, 'cuz every now and then I kick the living shit out of me!” He blushed lightly and glanced over to the Head Table, hoping no one docked him points for lyrics that were beyond his control. “When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell, when you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!”

Harry was giving Hermione a pleading look, but she could only shrug as she had no idea how to stop things – having already tried a couple of spells to end active magic, which failed.

“Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you.” Harry blushed as well, feeling like a creepy stalker despite the fact that he knew it was a very famous song – that he HADN'T written. Incongruously, at the same time, he couldn't help but look Draco in the eyes as if making an actual vow to dog his every step.

Draco narrowed his eyes, not happy at all to hear that Harry planned to stalk him again this year. “Caught between the lines, my life of worthless lies, shedding my skin to begin a life I don't know how to live in, I can't take it, I've seen it all, and I've walked it tall, lived in this sin, where do I begin?” He barely had time to take a breath before a different lyric abrupt followed. “You made me a, you made me a believer, believer, you break me down, you build me up, believer, believer.” Prior to this, Draco was confused but not too mortified as he was sounding smooth as glass and not truly embarrassing himself, but now, he felt as if someone was trying to pull his skin off and expose his secret core.

Harry was not pleased to find himself sticking to the disturbing theme of the last song. “Well I'm not paralyzed but I seem to be struck by you, I wanna make you move because you're standing still.”

Draco decided to look up at the ceiling on the off chance that more truths he'd quite like to avoid telling came out. “I look inside myself and see my heart is black, I see my red door I must have it painted black, Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts, it's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black – Only when I start to think about it, I HATE everything about you, why do I love you?”

This made him gasp out and slap a hand over his mouth to attempt to stop his verbal vomiting. He then bit his lips together and held his breath for good measure, his eyes impossibly wide and his heart suddenly thundering in his ears.

Harry looked stunned, but that didn't stop his next song from being sung. “Oh you're a loaded gun, yeah, oh there's nowhere to run, no one can save me, the damage is done, shot through the heart and you're to blame, you give love a bad name!”

Draco was not the only one suddenly staring at Harry in shock. Harry was now the one fervently wishing that the table would absorb him and put an end to his misery.

Tearing at his hair and seriously wondering if he would be able to find a way to murder Peeves for putting him through this, Draco shook his head, desperately trying to NOT sing anything else, but it burst forth anyway.

“I think of you every night and day, you took my heart and you took my pride away, I HATE myself for loving you, can't break free from the things that you do, I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why I hate myself for loving you!”

Harry tilted his head to the side as he – usually not the most observant of blokes – couldn't help but notice that Draco had sang a variation of the same declaration of love. Could it be true???

Strangely calm now, Harry surrendered to the next song that came out of his mouth. “I can't stand you, you upset me, and I despise that I adore you, and I hate how much I love you, boy, I can't stand how much I need you, and I hate how much I love you, boy, but I just can't let you go, and I hate that I love you so, that's how much I love you, that's how much I need you, that's how much I love you, that's how much I need you, and I hate that I love you SOOOOOOOOO! 

That last word was sung so powerfully that felt like his chest expanded even as his arms stretched completely out. He would actually be embarrassed by the unintentional grandstanding if he wasn't already embarrassed by the entire incident. Even so, he was suddenly filled with a hope so profound that it took his breath away.

The entire hall fell completely silent as everyone (even McGonagall) was holding their breath to see if there'd be any more.

Draco was holding his hand over his mouth again and standing there staring at Harry as if Harry was a Thestral that Draco was seeing for the very first time. It took Harry a moment to gather up his courage, but then he cleared his throat.

“Erm... I don't about you, but like Peeves said, I could only sing the truth...”

“But...” Draco protested faintly. “But... HOW? How could you love me?”

Harry snorted a laugh and shook his head. “I've got no idea either!”

Draco stood frozen on the Slytherin table, unable to run and hide like he so desperately wanted to, and yet ALSO unable to be brave and admit to his feelings.

“Oh go on!” Pansy snapped impatiently as she pushed him.

Draco would have fallen off the table completely and landed on the floor, but Harry summoned him, suavely catching him and holding him safe in his arms.

“Alright there, Malfoy?”

Rather than try to find any words – the ability to speak had utterly deserted him – Draco did the only thing he could. He took a deep breath, let his mind go blank, and then kissed Harry. The kiss very quickly turned into a heated battle for dominance that was not exactly appropriate for an audience.

The entire student body (and quite a few of the teachers) burst out in incredulous gasps and roars. It was sheer thundering chaos for a moment, only Ron seemed too shocked to even close his gaping mouth (while Hermione smirked in amusement). But then McGonagall recovered from her astonishment and realized that she needed to regain order.

“Will everyone please calm down?! Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy! Kindly, erm... CEASE, erm... until you reach some privacy. HARRY!!!”

This managed to penetrate the happy fog seizing Harry's mind. He pulled back, looking rather drunk and swaying unsteadily to boot.

“Go do that in your dorm!” McGonagall insisted, temporarily too flustered to remember that officially, she's supposed to discourage students from seeking privacy in their dorms for such things.

Ever opportunistic, Draco cast her a devious grin. “If you insist, Headmistress.” Without another word, he dragged Harry to his dorm (which was closer), but unfortunately, the moment they were alone, their mutual embarrassment took over again.

“I can't believe I fucking confessed my deepest secret in front of the whole school!” Draco blurted out, pacing his dorm and hyperventilating into a bag. He then remembered that Harry was there, watching him avidly, and struggled to pull on his stony mask.

Harry saw what he was doing and shook his head. “Oh no! I'm NOT going to let you do that! You kissed me and it was bloody fantastic!”

Draco faltered, literally taking a step back, but Harry wouldn't let him escape. He closed in and pulled Draco back into his arms.

“I know it's scary – bloody terrifying actually – but I want this. I want you.”

Draco pressed his lips together as he thought this over, then he slowly let out the breath he was holding. “I... I do too. I... want you... But only Merlin knows why, you bloody wanker!”

Happy to hear that, Harry resumed kissing him and kept on kissing him the rest of the night. In the morning, they both woke up happier than they could ever remember being before. The whole school seemed cheerful, heckling them playfully, but otherwise surprisingly accepting.

As for Ron, he couldn't believe his phenomenal luck! Not only was Harry not going to murder him, but he didn't even realize Ron was involved! He looked over to Blaise, who winked at him, raised a glass, and gave a silent toast to their best friends' current and hopefully continued happiness. 

Up near the ceiling, Peeves could be heard singing a merry song about how he'd known all along that those two dunderheads were meant for each other. Now all he had to do was pair up ALL his favorite couples! Cackling, he made plans to do exactly that.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This one sounded better in my head, lol ^_^


End file.
